For Kangin

    “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman

.. And it's true. Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite authors and he captured heartache perfectly. It was a long time since I cried that hard, the day Kangin went to the army, July 5th. I must be a masochist because while I was looking through the heartbreaking photos of Kangin and the boys, I had my iPod plugged in and I was listening to 잠시만Goodbye (A Short Journey). I was bawling my eyes out and cried until my heart hurt; It was painful, a ripping pain, a heart burn. A real soul-hurt. There's not much I can say about the other day that hasn't already been said, but for the record, I'll wait.

Today when the sun sets and the moon rises again, it's still the same
Don't ever think nothing's going to change with you gone.
You've left a hole and we'll patiently wait for that void to be filled when you return.
Oh why is my heart changing this fast, 
Your appearance that resembled the blue sky rains
And when you return, we'll shower you with love and support,
and show you the best and most overwhelming sapphire blue sea.

In the past when you did whatever you wanted and was foolish, you who we embraced amidst everything, are really precious. My heart that loved you, our eyes that saw you.. we'll wait.