This morning, i woke up to email a file to a client for my mom, and lo and behold, the 4jib teaser photo was up. I panicked and woke my sister up, and we loaded the page together with bated breath. For about a whole minute, we spazzed and drooled at how gorgeous and shocking they looked. Eunhyuk's chest. Sungmin's hair. Eeteuk's arms. Our biggest fear for 4jib was that they'd end up looking overly made up like U-Kiss, and we were glad that so far, so good.
Then when we scrolled down at the news, i felt my heart literally ripping apart. There will also be 10 members involved as member KangIn is in the army. A big piece of my heart broke off, the piece that loved Kangin, the guy who was rough and tough on the outside, but was really a sucker and a big softy on the inside. I've been missing him so much, and i had hoped and prayed that he'd be joining the comeback. It's been too long, and much has to be said about the fact that he is one member who has invested so much time, love and effort into being there. Kangin WANTS to be part of it all, heck, he wants to be right where the action is.
KiBum is doing his actor activities. Another piece broke away. I was surprised that it hurt, Kibum not being there, mainly because in my family, i'm the one who cares the least for him. My sisters scold me whenever i gripe about Kibum, but let's save that for another entry. He was present in all the official 3jib photos and album jackets, even if he didn't participate in the album itself... so him not being in the teaser photo practically screams that he isn't really part of Super Junior anymore, at least not technically.
As for HanKyung, he is in the middle of the lawsuit, and will not be participating in 4th Album activities. And another piece ripped off, a physical pain - a heartburn. It was expected, of course, but I have so many thoughts and emotions regarding this matter, and I don't know what to make of the whole situation.
Hankyung currently not in contact with the members and the Super Junior members felt sad about it. THIS. This was the last blow, the reminder that despite the edgy photoshoot and hype about 4jib, the Super Junior members are in pain. After having watched the Boys in City 3 DVD, it was clear that they were all very close to Hangeng, and if i'm hurting, what more the members? Heechul? Donghae? The SJM members? Leeteuk? *sigh*
I really don't know what to feel or how i should take this.
I'm happy. I'm so excited for the MV and the rest of album promotions, because again, Asia will see just how amazing Super Junior is at what they do. This is what the boys do best and they love being onstage, they're happy, i'm happy.
I'm disappointed because i was hoping that Kangin would be there. I'm disappointed at fans who fail to see the bigger picture. I'm disappointed at Only1 fans who don't care that Kangin won't be there or that Hangeng is in the middle of a lawsuit.
I'm angry. I am pissed at those who whine and complain, "Oh, Hyuk's eyebrows look weird" or "oh my, Kyuhyun's hair and outfit." Some people need to be open to change, and i know i sound like a total hypocrite because things HAVE changed, but i'm talking about changing image and haircuts. Hairstyles grow out, and clothes get worn out, so take a chill pill with the concept and accept it. They look better than just good, anyway.
I'm... i'm... really at a loss for words, and i don't know what to say anymore.




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